Tobi's FUN Song
by SeverNSkull
Summary: Tobi gets bored and convinces an annoyed ex-Iwa nin to sing with him. Oneshot.


It was a break for the Akatsuki. Their plan to take over the world was falling into place, and soon, they'd have the Kyuubi and the Hacibi.

Two ninja sat in the living room, relaxing away from the others who tended to avoid each other any ways. An orange masked man lay on his belly on the floor, playing with a set of action figures and a pyromaniac-artist sat at the coffee table on the large couch, sculpting his next masterpiece.

The orange masked man hummed away and made sound effects as he forced his '_awesome_ bad guy-man' to kick the 'stupid hero-man' in the face. The latter was_ Baka-kashi_. The blonde ninja became vexed and utterly annoyed as he snapped at him, "Shut up, un. You're distracting me!" The blonde stared down his clueless partner with an obvious air of malicious intent before turning back to his work.

The orange masked ninja shrugged and momentarily went back to his game, making the bad guy strut around victoriously. It soon bored him. He rolled on his side and watched Deidara sculpt with a curious black eye. The blonde's nimble fingers and tiny mouths worked tirelessly on the white mound until he felt the other's eyes on him.

Deidara's crystalline eyes fell on the masked ninja and he grunted in annoyance, "What Tobi, un?"

Tobi looked on and hummed thoughtfully for a moment, "Tobi's bored senpai."

Deidara rolled his eyes and responded, "Then go find someone else to annoy, un."

Tobi gasped as though he had finally formulated a brilliant idea. He smiled behind his mask with glee, "Tobi wants to sing with his Deidara-senpai!"

"No way, un! I'm not singing with an idiot like you", Deidara practically screamed at the childish man. "I get ridiculed enough for being your partner as it is, un!"

"B-But senpai-"

"No way, un!"

"Please?"

"No."

"Deidara-senpai?"

"No!"

"_Dei-ch_-"

"Don't even think of finishing that sentence, un", Deidara growled dangerously. He sighed and rubbed his temples before turning back to Tobi, "If I sing with you, will you shut the hell up and go away?"

Tobi nodded vigorously.

The blonde facepalmed and peered through his fingers before muttering a muffled, "Fine, un. _One_ song."

Tobi cheered happily. "Yay! Tobi wants to sing the F.U.N. Song!"

_Oh god..._

Tobi leapt up and smiled beneath the mask, spreading his arms out before crying out in a musical tone, "**F** is for friends that do stuff together!"

Deidara was immediately irritated. There was no way in this hell, Hel, any of the Chinese hells, or Hades that him and Tobi would _ever_ be friends. _**Ever**_.

Tobi bent close to Deidara, almost close enough to press his ugly swirled mask against his nose. "**U** is for you and me...!"

Deidara held his hand up to strangle the man as he danced away on his toes and skipped circles around the couch.

"**N** is for anytime, anywhere _at all... _here in the Akatsuki", Tobi sang happily.

"Tobi, that is the most botched thing you've ever done, un", the blonde grumbled. Deidara looked at his clay. If he shoved it into his fourth mouth, he'd never have to hear him again. He stuck his lower lip out and frowned disdainfully as Tobi bounced around humming the interlude.

Tobi stopped in front of Deidara, waiting expectantly. He gestured for Deidara to continue. "What? What Tobi, un?"

"Deidara-senpai promised to sing with Tobi! Tobi is a good boy", he pouted. The blonde knew the idiot was serious and undoubtedly puffed his bottom lip out ever further, he furrowed two thin golden brows.

Deidara banged his head on the coffee table a few times. "_Kill me_, un. _Kill me now_", he groaned.

"Come on, senpai", Tobi said wiggling like Jell-O.

"Fine! Shut up, un", Deidara yelled and swore under his breath.

The blonde stood and quietly began as anger boiled within him, threatening to spill. "**F** is for fire that burns down the whole town", he began begrudgingly.

Tobi didn't notice the change in lyrics. He continued to dance like the oblivious man-child he was.

"**U** is for Uranium, un", Deidara said more proudly, puffing out a plain, chest with his eyes closed to reminisce.

Tobi paused and looked on stupidly, "What's Uranium?"

Deidara ignored him so the shadow in the corner responded in his stead. "Bombs."

"Thanks", Tobi replied as he happily began dancing and flailing wildly.

"**N** is _no survivors_", Deidara sang with finesse, "here in the Akatsuki!"

"That was beautiful senpai", Tobi said happily.

"It was interesting", the shadow that was Itachi stated, coming from his hiding spot.

Deidara jumped and squealed like a girl, "When did you get here, un?! You scared the heck outta me!"

Itachi took a deep breath and cleared his throat. He began his own version in his careful monotone, "**F** is for family... which I have massacred."

Deidara frowned and the masked man continued dancing.

"**U** is for under orders."

Deidara wiped a pesky tear away and casually tripped Tobi.

Itachi's voice filled with sorrow and emotion, "**N** is for world's worst_ nii-san_... here in the Akatsuki."

Deidara and Itachi were both internally sobbing until Tobi jumped up and screamed, "_Best_. _Song_. _**EVER**_! Sing it again, Itachi-san!"

For the rest of the day, Tobi was both seen and heard running like hell and screaming like a girl from the wrath of former-pacifist Itachi Uchiha and enraged artist Deidara of Iwagakure.


End file.
